My blog IS called “Secret Life of a Betty Crocker Wannabe”. You’ve been warned.
Is it sad that I didn’t notice my tweezers were missing until I caught a frightening glimpse of my unibrow in the mirror this morning? What is truly sad is that nobody bothered to warn me that as I get older the unibrow tends to be a little more dramatic than it used to be. You know….not only does it meet in the middle but it starts growing down the sides of your face and every now and then sprouts on your chin and upper lip. *sigh* Somebody needs to write a book about this stuff to warn unsuspecting women such as myself.
I went to have my eyebrows waxed once and the lady told me that I looked good with Brooke Shield’s eyebrows. I think Brooke Shields is beautiful and all, but the lady didn’t say I looked like Brooke Shields. She said I had her eyebrows. I couldn’t help but be a tad bit offended. Nobody wants to look like the local hairy caterpillar society is having their annual meeting on your forehead.
Somehow the woman convinced me to let her wax my chin and upper lip while she was working the brows. She kept saying encouraging things like “your husband will think you’re a new woman!” and “It will brighten up your whole face!”. By the time I got done trying to figure out what she was really trying to tell me, it was over.
And, I have to admit, she was right. It did brighten up my face……because of the thick coat of Vaseline she rubbed all over it after the wax job. And my husband was surprised when he saw me. He had a somewhat shocked look on his face and I assumed it was because he loved the “new me”. He said something along the lines of “What did you do?”. I smiled and said “I got my lip and chin waxed. Do you like it?”. He just stared and didn’t say anything so I looked in the mirror. You know how Fred Flinstone has that 5 o’clock shadow thing going on?
That was me, except my 5 o’clock shadow was bright pink and shiny. I guess the lady thought that if she could strip off enough layers of the old me she’d for sure find a new me under there somewhere.
Needless to say, I haven’t let anyone else touch my eyebrows (or lip brows or chin brows) since.
A few months ago, my 9 year old was watching me put on my makeup. She informed me that I needed to shave…..my mustache (not sure where she gets her brutal honesty…..). After giving her a good “say what?” stare down, I grabbed hubby’s Norelco out of the bathroom cabinet and took care of the mustache. Worked like a charm. I only wish that I had discovered this little trick sooner. Too bad the Norelco won’t work on eyebrows. We’ll have to leave for church early tomorrow so I can grab a pair of tweezers at Wal-Mart and do some emergency eyebrow work in the car before Sunday School. *sigh* Oh the drama.